“Crawling” with a Purpose

As I mentioned in my last post it is virtually impossible to consistently achieve worthwhile goals if we don’t take the time to prioritize our lives.  We become easily distracted if we haven’t claimed what is important to us (prioritizing).  Keeping first things first is the most effective way to keep the priorities straight.

Many years ago my addiction took away my ability to prioritize.  My number one priority each day was to feed my habit as often as it needed fed.  Eventually getting high and staying out of withdrawal was my only priority.  When I look at my life today I give thanks to God for giving me my life back and for subsequently giving me the ability to prioritize again. 

Today I take great pride in taking care of myself spiritually, mentally and physically in order to stay clean and sober and be all God wants me to be (#1 priority).  I also take pride in being a great husband (#2), dad (#3), son/son-in-law (#4), brother (#5), friend (#6) and a helper of others (#7).  My commitment to my work (#8) and financial stewardship (#9) also rank high on my list of priorities.  Training for and competing in triathlons finishes in the #10 slot of my priorities.

Twenty-two years ago when I was at the height of my addiction I was a very poor if not a worthless, husband, dad, son/son-in-law, brother, friend, helper of others, worker, steward of money and Lord knows I would have drowned if I would have attempted a triathlon. When I look at where I am today I am in awe of God’s mighty power. 

But I need to make a very important point.  The priorities in my life today were nowhere to be found when I got sober.  My number one priority 21 years ago was to stay sober a day at a time.  That was no simple task.  In fact it is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life.  It forced me to lay everything else down and focus on the one thing that would make or break my future.  I had to learn how to live life on life’s terms.  In essence I had to learn how to crawl before I could walk.  Although my recovery seemed painfully slow I was “crawling” with a purpose.  I am so glad I had a network of recovery friends that kept telling me to keep first things first and to keep my recovery first and foremost in my life.  Today I know if I don’t stay sober I can throw all my other priorities and goals out the window. 

If you are struggling with prioritizing and running with a purpose there is a good chance you are still in bondage (anything that gets in the way of being productive for the Lord) to an area in your life that needs to be dealt with.  You may have to go back and learn how to crawl before you can effectively walk and run.  I’ve seen a lot of people who think they’ve conquered their area of bondage and then bury themelves in “priorities” only to find out later their priorities are out of order and impossible to keep because they’ve never faced, healed and let go of their brokenness created by the bondage.  Brokennesss comes in various forms and is often the result of addictions, unhealthy relationships and tragic events of the past.  The genesis of our bondage and subsequent brokenness is fear and the side effects of fear are pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth…the 7 Deadly Sins.  Fear is the devil’s answer to God’s love.  If the devil can get us to stay in fear he in turn is in control of our lives and our priorities.  Ask yourself how many times in the last week you commited any of the 7 Deadly Sins.  This will help you figure out just how broken you are.

Take a look at where most of your day is spent spiritually, mentally and physically.  Are these areas lined up with your priorities?  Are you living each moment in the Spirit or are you living in fear?  If you are living in fear it might be time to go back to crawling.  Take some time in the next couple of days to name your brokenness, name what is causing you to miss the joy and peace of the Holy Spirit.  Write it/them down, admit it/them to someone else.  Then make a decision to allow it to become simply “a thing of the past” and no longer let it control your present and future. 

This will take some time but it is worth it.  Handling your brokenness begins with surrender and continues by turning it over to God one day at a time.  If you are like me and need a step by step approach, The 12 Steps created by Alcoholics Anonymous and used throughout the world for various forms of brokenness is a great way to crawl and in turn get your stride back.  As you begin to work on your area of bondage you will slowly be able to take on the responsibilities of your life and prioritize appropriately.  This is a process, it is not an event.

It is impossible to crawl unless we get on our hands and knees.  Believe it or not, I try to start everyday on my hands and knees in prayer (surrender) and it is there when I trade my fears for energy from God so that I may “run” another day with a purpose.  Paul tells us in Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Today I overflow with hope and it is so much better than overflowing with fear.

P.E.A.C.E.

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